Sunday, November 11, 2007

Why I won't buy Assassin's Creed

This is in response to an article (http://us.i1.yimg.com/v...8155) listing the top 5 reasons Assassin's Creed is revolutionary and therefore a must-have. If you don't know what Assassin's Creed is, then why are you reading this?

1. Playing a game with three cities: Not new and revolutionary. Remember San Andreas? Now I'm sure the scope of this game will be a bit bigger a.k.a more confusing, and a lot prettier... but it is far from breaking new ground.

2. Acrobatic killing: Prince of Persia, God of War. Again, not new. Maybe a few new tweaks... but not new.

3. Parkour: You've seen the commercials? This is the game's gimmick. Running around rooftops, climbing on everything... it looks awesome, right? How often are you really going to do this, though? Probably all the time for say.... the first 20 minutes you are in each city. After that, you'll get bored. Then you'll try to run from guards when you get caught, and you'll think you're a badass because you can climb walls... until you find out they have guards on the rooftops, too. How do I know this? Because it is a stealth game, escaping capture cannot be as easy as reverting to one of the basic moves in the game. If it is, then this game will especially suck.

4. Probability that you are not really playing in the past: OK. So what?

5. Change in social status during the game: Wow. So new... oh wait. Again, it's not. Fable? KOTOR? Every other freaking game hyping how much "Your every decision affects future gameplay."? Yeah, done that, and probably better than this one will be done.

Conclusion: This game might be cool to rent, but it will lose its shiny gloss pretty quickly. You will spend most of the game walking slowly around cities, trying to avoid detection, getting caught, then hiding in a corner for 45 minutes... This is Ubisoft, people. Remember Splinter Cell? The most aggravating games with the steepest learning curves that we've seen since the Power Glove came out? Nothing about this game is innovative. Expect good reviews from the magazines and websites, though, because like I said, its Ubisoft.

Stupid bigheaded steroid using shame... oh wait, I did that post already. Just remember. Eff Bonds.

2 comments:

James said...

Didn't Ninja Gaiden for the XBox pretty much cover #3 anyway?

Booshnell said...

Not quite. You could only bounce off everything in that one. This time it seems fairly limitless... which is why you won't do it too often.